hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My life is pants optional.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
