so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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