Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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