The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
