grandma shit on top of the toilet
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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