You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize