White coat. Heels.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
