We named our party play list daddy issues
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
