I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
