my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize