Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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