I wannas sexs uuuuu
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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