NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
