His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
