There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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