I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
