I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
