Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
