Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
