No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
