OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
