If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
