next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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