ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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