Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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