He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
