My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
