Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
