Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
