is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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