What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up under a house in Key West
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