It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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