Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
