You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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