better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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