I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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