if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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