We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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