Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
