I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
