No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
