eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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