Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
