You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
