The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
