Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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