just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
