I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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