Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
