thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
