That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
