# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
