That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
