The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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