You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You're like the curious george of whores
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You've changed since you got that strap on
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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