How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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