Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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