I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
